Dreams don't come true

For the past whole month, I've created at least 15 posts which I did not publish.. Why? I don't know either. I don't want myself to seem weak I guess. :S

I just woke up an hour ago. And I've been doing lotsa thinkings. You know what they always say? If you remember your dream, it's a sign that it will never come true. Not scientifically proven, but oh well. Seems true.

So yeah. Had a dream about him. Me and him. Together. Smiles. Joy. Laughters. I've always thought that I hate him for causing my initial heartbreak, that whatever feelings I have for him are none other than anger and hatred. For being the only black spot in my memory. But the moment I woke up, I don't know why. I just started tearing. I miss him. I really do. And the thought that it's never ever gonna come true hurts. It really does.

Yes. I'm aware. That there are a few guys who are willing to wait for me to open my heart again. That I can always have someone who loves me more, and most importantly, loves me for who I am. Stop rubbing it in. Things are always easier said than done. I've always been that someone whom my friends will go to for advices whenever they have problems getting over guys. And my first few lines will always be, "Aiyoh. It's just him. Guys are nothing more than a woman with a few extra grams of meat 'there'. You will get over him! Big deal!" But when it comes back to myself, I just fell apart.

Everyone has been throwing the same few questions at me. "Why him?" "You miss him? Miss what???" Honestly, I don't know either. We didn't know each other for long. Why? Coz he's the first guy I felt emotionally connected with? Coz he's the first guy that I couldn't get over within a week? Or coz he's the first guy who, well, in a way, left me? I don't know. Things will definitely be easier to deal with if I do.

I'm moving on. Trying to, at least. Wish me luck.